ATP Hands Challenge: Expert Analysis

As an expert on men’s hands, I knew it was my responsibility to report back when the Erste Bank Open released their Mystery Box Challenge. I was merely a young gay when I learned how much you can tell about a person’s body and personality based on their bands.

Here’s the good and bad news about ATP player hands from my deep expert hand analysis.

Tommy Paul

It’s a good thing Tommy Paul has the looks, body and swag to make up for his very basic hands. They’re pretty small and bony. I expected more from one of the hottest players on tour. But something tells me he won’t lose much sleep over it.

Stefanos Tsitsipas

Stef’s hands reflect his personality: They’re big and pretty – almost too pretty. I’m looking for a little more “umph” from the hands of my pro athletes. Harden up your hands (and backhand), Stef!

Alexander Zverev

I regret to inform you that Zverev has the best hands of anyone in this challenge. They’re big, meaty and nearly perfect. I hate to admit it (we all know about his serious domestic violence accusations), but the hands are hands-ing for him.

Grigor Dimitrov

Grigor has been called a lot of things: The “Ken” of the ATP tour, the best looking player and even Baby Fed. But who knew he had such fat fingers? His hands are good, but the meaty fingers push him into the great category. I just wish it would help him beat top players in close matches.

Dominic Thiem

Unfortunately for Scot, I (Tony) am unimpressed with Thiem’s hands. These do not look like the hands of a professional athlete. They look like the hands of the un-athletic kid in class. Pass.

Andrey Rublev

Rublev wins the award for the person whose hands most closely match their looks. His hands and fingers are bony with a reddish tint…you could spot them as his from a mile away.

Arthur Fils

I guess it’s true: Nobody is perfect. Because Arthur Fils gets 10s across the board from me (body, face, smile, personality, game, confidence…I can keep going). But perhaps his one humbling trait is his very mediocre hands. Can we talk about that face and smile though?

Jannik Sinner

I want to end with Sinner since I can be hard on him. He’s not my favorite personality on tour. But his hand game isn’t bad: Solid, stalky hands with long fingers. I’m happy for you, Jannik!

This scientific data took significant research and hard work. For more important analysis, follow us on Twitter or Instagram. And listen to The Gay Tennis Podcast anywhere you get podcasts!

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